not a lazy suzen

I have learned a couple of lessons in the past week and a half. The major one being perspective. It’s pretty easy to lose perspective on a project when you take a lot on. For me ambition is closely related to obsession and that gets mixed up with persistence. Sometimes my work gets pressed so tight against me that its all I can and cannot see. I become invested and even angry with it. My perspective gets completely out of whack, like I’m wearing blinders. Like when you’re nose-to-nose with someone and their eyes suddenly become one giant eye because your own eyes have crossed so much.

It takes a pretty big event for me to finally step back and see what the hell I’m even doing. And when I say “big” I mean it just takes one person to call me out of the bullshit. One statement. Last week it came from a stranger who said, “Why are you so invested in this?” and I found I couldn’t even answer because I don’t think I’m as invested as I appear to be. I am forcing myself to be more involved than I actually am. Sometimes a big project tricks you into thinking that you have to be in it all the time but that’s totally untrue. Over-thinking. Making mountains out of mole hills. Sometimes things are simple and there’s no point in over-analyzing.

(I’m talking about the sweater, if you haven’t already deduced. While there are still four sleeves left to be knit, I have intellectually wiped my hands clean of it. You are done, fair sweater monster. Now get out of my life.)